17 Things You Think When Breaking in New Shoes

I recently purchased the most beautifully ugly shoes from ASOS. They are big and clumpy, but of the sandal variety so perfect for summer. The day after they arrived I wore them with some vintage culottes and a high neck ribbed top and looked bloody awesome. Five minutes later, I hated myself, the shoes (cruelly called 'Have a Dream' Sandals), the online shopping industry and anyone walking faster than me. My thought process throughout the day was as follows

Put Away Your PDAs

A few weekends ago, I was sat in Starbucks in Paddington Station waiting for a train to take me and my belated Christmas greetings to my sister's house. I had my earphones in and a book to read and was quite happy minding my own business, until the girl sat opposite me decided to drape herself over the boy sat next to her. She then sat idly stroking his hair while they watched videos on his laptop and he fed her plastic spoonfuls of muesli. Tender? Cute? Reminding us that romance isn't dead?

No. 

Getting the Travel Bug

I love a holiday as much as the next person, but I've never been the type of person to go 'travelling'. I associate the word with gap years, rucksacks and Thailand; a rite of passage that people aged 19 - 24 go through to put off being a proper adult. I've always enjoyed my European beach holidays once a year, where I can read, drink and sleep for a whole week and come back with a mega tan and some dodgy biscuits for the office, but 2014 has really changed my whole perspective on the idea of travel.

[Opinion] I'm Old Enough to Be in 'Friends'

On my recent annual pilgrimage to the Friends box set a horrific realisation hit me: I’m now the same age as the main characters in series one. I’ve watched this programme for over a decade, and I’m not ashamed to say I still find it hilarious. I cried at every wedding, child birth, and was verging on hysterical during the final ever episode (SHE GOT OFF THE PLANE!).

It’s just that everything they do now is both completely relatable and unbelievably unrealistic. They've set up more expectations about life than a Richard Curtis marathon and a Disney princess rolled into one. Here's the real life lessons I've gained from the world's most loved sitcom:

- I spend too much money on clothes I can’t afford but not enough to terrify me as I do NOT have parents or friends that can bail me out of a situation I get myself into.

- I love to cook, but if my friends constantly came over to my flat and raided my fridge, I would kick their arses OUT quicker than they could find the dodgy Philadephia on the bottom shelf.

- NOBODY can afford that apartment. Rent control or not, that place is obscenely big. It’s only now that I live away from home in a big city myself and consider my flat a reasonable size that I’ve realised how absolutely obscene Monica’s place is.

- The men in my life don’t seem to crawl back apologetically, they definitely do not put up with any hissy fits I have, and don’t do that stupid head tilt/smile/say something lovely thing that Chandler always does after reassuring Monica that her frankly alarming OCD level of cleaning is actually cute and then follows it up with a kiss.

- I worry about my career path and my relationship (despite them both being absolutely fine), and they both consume the vast majority of the conversations I have with my friends. This really is enough to fill 10 series, so it makes sense to me now. In fact now I think of it, that’s all I ever talk about.

- Eating ice cream straight from the tub and making tiki death punch to cure any woe is also a thing.

- Dates with people you think could only possibly exist in a sitcom actually happen (thanks to my wonderful girl friends for updating me on these bizarre situations!)

- People really do spend that much money on coffee

So which 'friend' am I? I have moments of being as clueless as Rachel, quite a few times where I'm as obsessive as Monica, and I'm probably as 'head-'in-the-clouds' as Phoebe at least four days a week. But it all worked out for them; I just need a signature haircut, rent-controlled apartment, and an acoustic guitar. Easy peasy!

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[Opinion] Top Blogging Tips: Everyone's (Apparently) an Expert

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I can't help but notice that there's an awful lot of people out there offering blogging advice. I'm not talking about cold-callers and spam emails, I'm referring to actual bloggers all giving their two cents on how to make it big in the blogging world. As we all know, blogging can indeed be a lucrative business, but let's make it clear, that's very much for the minority. The posts that keep appearing in my Bloglovin' feed can be incredibly helpful and very insightful, particularly when they come from bloggers who have made a lifestyle out of their hobby, but why are these posts being written by seemingly everyone? When does someone have the 'authority' to give this information? In most cases it's not the high ranking of the blogger, instead I think the answer lies in SEO. It certainly makes great search engine collateral for the writer as it's clearly a much talked about topic. However, I believe these posts, as much as they may intend to help, are increasingly making bloggers focused on the science of optimisation and encouraging unhealthy competition between fledgling sites. Why aren't we all just satisfied with reading and writing great content?

Readers. Subscribers. Unique views. Followers. Blogging is increasingly becoming about numbers, but where is the value in that? Ask yourself: why do you want the numbers? Is it so you can be seen by brands, or meet new people, or beat your friends? Is it because you don't feel like a real blogger if you have less than 100 people subscribed to you?

I've started to realise that the people who regularly visit this blog comment on posts, chat to me on Twitter and Like my updates on Facebook. They're not one time visitors; they return because they like what I'm writing about and that is so, so important to me. I changed the name of this blog recently because I rarely write about fashion and I wanted to have the freedom to say whatever the hell I wanted, whenever it suited me. I had fallen into the trap a while back of writing what I thought people wanted to read, but my heart wasn't in it. Yes, it may have drawn in a crowd, but they were just observers.

I work in social media and regularly work with bloggers on behalf of my clients. I love working with these influencers because they have integrity and honesty. We all read their sites because we trust what they say, more so than a magazine in a lot of cases, and believe me, if they don't think a brand is right for them and their site they will turn it down. I respect and appreciate that a huge amount. From a professional and personal point of view, what I crave most from a blogger is originality; whether that's a unique sense of style, a cheeky tone of voice or a new perspective on an old subject. Not only do I want to read that elsewhere but that's what I strive to write here too. 

Of course I'm not trying to dampen your dreams of being the next big blogging star or telling you not to strive for the best. Knowing someone is interacting with your hard work feels amazing, and I'll promote myself as much as the next person. After all the internet is a big place and I am one tiny voice trying to be heard. But think about what you're trying to achieve; remember that truth trumps numbers every time. And next time you ask somebody for a follow back or for some help to reach your next follower goal, ask yourself if you'd prefer true engagement with a dedicated, likeminded reader or another number that is using you for their own statistics. 

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[Opinion] Tatler's Guide to Being a Slut

After a nice Monday evening of casual household rivalry watching University Challenge, my boyfriend insisted on watching 'Posh People: Inside Tatler' on BBC2. Having read the magazine a number of times in hairdressers and train stations (not their target distribution hubs, I'm sure), I am fully aware of the honking great line that they happily carve between 'them' and 'us'. A stand-out piece for me, I remember reading an article outlining various things that you are allowed to complain about. In case you're worried, rest assured that you ARE allowed to complain about warm champagne, however you are NOT allowed to complain about sciatica pain. 

I feel that gives a pretty good overview of their priorities.

Anyway, I can deal with photos of over-privileged rich kids getting their arses out and snapshots of professional party-goers wearing risque fancy dress to the opening of a gold-plated envelope. I'm not offended by their interests in blood sports and choice of ridiculously priced chinos; we all have our hobbies, and they're all tailored to upbringing and environment. What I AM offended by though, is Tatler's blatant gender stereotyping and in particular, their use of the word 'slut'.

On the front of July's edition of Tatler (the one with your own cut-out-and-keep Kate Middleton doll *squeeeeeeeeeeeee!*), the focus of Monday's episode of Posh People, there sat the headline, 'Are you a slut? 10 surefire signs.' 
HOLD UP. 
What? 
A supposedly respectable British institution, Tatler was shamelessly using a word that is now synonymous with branding sexually active women as immoral, wrong and unequal. ON IT'S FRONT COVER. The wonderful new online magazine AFT wrote a brilliant piece asking 'When is it OK to call a woman a slut?'. This line from the article sums up the word's usage perfectly: "It’s just using sexually promiscuous as a lazy short hand for a girl who you don’t like, and it’s time to start being more accurate and realistic with your descriptions."

I couldn't find the Tatler article online (although I found plenty of angry tweets from when it was first published), but searching for the word 'slut' on the Tatler site showed some brilliantly insightful results. Here's a couple of snippets: 

- The tiara wearing slut

"Long ago, at a university May Ball, I bumped into an old friend who was wearing a tiara. Because of this - the tiara - all my new friends thought she was a bitch. Go figure.

Actually, if you're a woman, this possibly doesn't perplex you at all. 'The 1990s?' you're probably thinking. 'A student? In a tiara? Slut!' Or something like that."

- The cotton bud using slut

"Because what if you're the kind of slut that cleans your ears with a cotton bud and leaves it lying on your dressing table, before using the VERY SAME cotton bud to artfully smudge your eye make-up?"

- The Made in Chelsea slut (in fact, when searching for 'slut' on Tatler's site, the majority of the articles actually refer to Made in Chelsea, and one character in particular)

"Settling their differences over that slut Lucy. Whoopsie I didn't mean that. For legal reasons, she's probably not one. And anyway Spencer said it first."

"More Lucy drama, and she gets all upset at being called a 'slut.' Burn the witch, I say."

Can you imagine the uproar if The Sun had this word emblazoned across their front page? What if Cosmo separated this year's must-have Christmas party dresses into 'slutty' and 'not-slutty'? To casually throw this word out into the public domain is just as ill-thought out and offensive as calling somebody a chav or a gypsy - it implies that you know the intimate details of somebody's life and then ignorantly assumes that you actually have the right to comment on it. It tells the world that it's OK to judge women who are sexually promiscuous, or in Tatler's case, that it's OK to judge any woman about anything that is remotely against 'proper' etiquette.

Tatler may show how the other half live, but I really hope it doesn't represent how the other half think.

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[Life] What Would I Say to My Younger Self ?

I recently read an awesome post over on Absolutely Lucy about the advice that she would give herself at various stages of her life. It got me thinking about what I would say to myself and I was instantly jealous that I hadn't thought of this topic myself. So I tweeted Lucy and asked if she'd consider making it a tag so that more bloggers could write a post in the same style without directly ripping of her idea, and she said yes!

I've written slightly different age groups as I'm a few years older than Lucy and although her post stopped at 22, the four years following that for me were probably the most challenging and exciting in my life so far. So here it goes.

Advice to Charlie aged 5 - 11

1. Don't wish you had an Easy-Bake Oven. Get in the kitchen and watch Mum do her magic; you'll be a baking fiend in the future!
2. Step-brother Saturdays may be annoying but they'll create some wonderful family memories.
3. Don't get annoyed with a little sister following you everywhere; she's one of the most amazing people you know.
4. Keep writing. Just don't stop.

Advice to Charlie aged 11 - 16

1. Pay more attention in French class - it's an adult cliche but you'll regret not being fluent in a second language.
2. Ditch those toxic friends sooner. Friends don't make you feel bad about yourself.
3. Your hair is awesome. Honest. You just need to learn how to tame it and get a good hairdresser!
4. No point arguing with Mum - within 10 years you will have pretty much turned into her.

Advice to Charlie aged 16 - 18

1. EAT ALL THE CAKE. It won't start sticking until you're about 24.
2. Trust your instincts. They'll stop you from getting hurt in the future.
3. Stop panicking about exams. Knuckle down and you'll be fine.
4. Smoking's not cool. It's expensive.

Advice to Charlie 18 - 21

1. Stop putting off things in the fear of being hurt again. Not everyone is the same.
2. You don't have to like everyone at uni.
3. Having a job at university is one of the best decisions you'll make.
4. Get relevant work experience, it'll help you so much in the future.

Advice to Charlie 21 - 26

1. Pay your dues and it'll all work out just fine.
2. Start saving your money please.
3. Friends move away and it sucks. Don't mope about it, just go and visit them!
4. Your career is important, but make time for yourself. No-one wants to burn out before 30!

Now it's my turn to tag some bloggers that I love, so I pick:

- AJ at Writer's Block and Broken Lenses (who happens to make a lovely appearance in my aged 16-18 pic!)
- Winnie at Diamond Canopy
- Lily at Lily Lipstick
- Dee at Prompts By Dee

Let me know if you do one of these posts yourself!

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Toto, I've a Feeling We're Not in Uni Anymore

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Almost a month ago, my baby sister moved to university. This is weird for a few reasons:

1) She only made the decision to go to university the night before A-Level results day
2) She can't be 18, because that would make me 26
3) That means it's been four years since I graduated

My memories of my three years in York are so distinct and so fresh that it's bizarre to think it didn't all happen a few months ago. I look at the photos my sister puts up on Facebook or Snapchats me (when she's out partying and I'm obviously in bed), and the thing that hits me the most is how young they all are. I mean, they look so young. How are these tiny people allowed to fend for themselves?! I don't differentiate between me now and me at uni, because I don't feel all that different, but then I look at my life and realise that things have majorly changed and that actually, I'm probably a bonafide adult now.

I don't just have a job, I have a career. I don't just have a boyfriend, I have a long-term relationship. I pay bills, I get appalling hangovers, I have crow's feet and cellulite. 

Then I stop and think: Do I really want to be a student again? Fair enough, living away from home for the first time is a lot of fun; you have a student loan which at the time basically seems like free money, and your responsibilities just about stop short of being too scary. But there are limitations, and I remember being at the end of my third year and being 100% ready to graduate and move on.

The positives completely outweigh the negatives. I live in central London, one of the most exciting cities in the world, but unlike most students, I can live in a nice flat! I've been lucky enough to travel more, and further, in the last year than I have in my whole life, and I intend on doing more. I have a small group of awesome friends that know me inside-out, and who don't judge me if I want to stay in in my pjs watching The X Factor. I'm working in an industry that I love and meeting some amazing people. It's scary to think that I need to start saving properly if I ever want to get a mortgage, but that's just the next challenge.

The last four years have seen internships, redundancy, burglaries, illness, travel, promotion, relocation and exploration. I've grown so much more as a person since graduating than I did in my comfortable and sheltered university bubble, although my experience there has undoubtedly shaped who I am today. On the surface, it may seem like the fun is over, but actually the excitement is happening right now. Turns out I actually quite like being a grown-up.

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